Comparison = Thief of Joy
Yoga is called a practice for a reason.
Not just a practice of poses or breath, but a practice of patience, compassion, and discipline. Most importantly, yoga has taught me the practice of “non-attachment,” though I have to master it.
Aparigraha or non-attachment is one of the eight limbs of yoga that reminds us that our ego can never be satisfied, so we must leave it at the door when we practice. And one thing that inflates and deflates our ego quicker than anything is comparison. On our mat, especially in a room full of other students and mirrors, we are going to compare ourselves; it is imminent. The shapes our bodies can contort into, how fast we move, how strong or flexible we are, never seem to be enough. This practice was designed to test our bodies and minds, training them never to stop learning and evolving. However, our ego gets in the way of that; it keeps us locked out of the magic of this practice.
It also does not help that yoga has also become very westernized in its approach; it has become an aesthetic, an idealized image, when it’s true form is the antithesis of that.
I still find myself being pulled out of my practice by my ego, whether as a teacher, a student, or simply a human being. As a teacher, it’s easy to get caught up in comparing the music we choose and the feedback we receive; as a student, it’s easy to compare the poses we can do; and as a human, it’s just easy to compare… period.
Luckily, the solution to all of these problems is found through aparigraha, remembering that we are not attached to our ego, and learning to silence it is the key to our freedom.
Especially the digital age we live in today really affects our well-being, as social media has become a comparison trap. It truly is the thief of all joy. It can take years to build up your confidence and pride, and seconds to tear it down. And while ego may drive and push us, it is insatiable; the sooner we realize this, the sooner we can learn to detach from it.
This week in my classes, I decided to discuss the concept of ego with my students, encouraging them to leave their egos at the door and decide whether or not they want to pick it back up as they leave.
The root of ego is isolation; our sense of self is greater than and separate from all else. Therefore, the practice of detachment is to remember that we are all one. Yoga literally translates to “yoke” or unite, our souls as one, and remember we are never alone.
So, if you feel comparison creep in, in the form of jealousy, bitterness, or frustration, remember that there is no separation. As yogis, we can learn to transmute that energy into excitement, encouragement, and support, knowing that there is no limit to success, money, and love in this world. Someone else accomplishing something does not mean you can’t.
Your practice is not linear; your journey will never be the same as someone else’s. And that’s exactly by design. You’re not behind; you’re not in a rush…you are exactly where you are meant to be. And that doesn’t just translate to your physical practice. Yoga reminds us of that every time we practice; it was never about what you do on your mat, but how you take it with you once you leave.
So next time you make it to your mat this week, can you choose to practice aparigraha or non-attachment? Can you leave your ego at the door and see what comes of it? Can you detach from possessions or habits that make you feel less than your best? Can you choose to soak up gratitude for your body, bank account, and relationships before bed instead of doomscrolling, wishing for someone else’s? Can you find happiness in the wins of others as if they are your own, and above all else, remember….
It’s all part of the journey <3
